To some, divorce can be a release. To others, it is a devastating blow. For others still it heralds a new and better beginning. So why does the experience vary so much, and why do men especially seem to struggle with divorce? Yes, that is right, men struggle with divorce. They are not automatons, things without feelings who can brush off the loss
Divorced men issues a long-term relationship with ease and nary a Divorced men issues glance.
While some studies show that men end up wealthier after divorce on average, it is also proven that men suffer from a higher rate of suicide after divorceand are more prone to alcoholism, weight gain and mental health issues. So why do some men thrive, while others sink into a pit of despair and destructive behavior?
After divorce, men go through a crisis that is all too often oversimplified in their own eyes and the Divorced men issues of society. Being sad and regretful is one thing, but these are transient phases. Anyone male or female who loses something important to them experiences what we would commonly call grief. It is a process to overcome that enormous loss -- one that has a profound effect on how we see ourselves and our place in the world.
A man who is must come to terms not just with this loss, but how that loss affects his ego. I should break off here to explain ego. While the term is often used to describe someone who thinks too much of themselves -- as in having a "big ego" -- the root meaning of the word is our internal sense of who we are as a reflection of other people and society.
It is how we view our role and place in society based on a lifetime of interactions with the society in which we live. The ego is a necessary thing for us to function in society, but it also causes some extreme problems when it comes to loss and grief due to how tightly our ego is tied up with family, love Divorced men issues marriage.
Often men who get divorced have to contend with the fact that his entire sense of self worth was tied up with his marriage. He had locked his self worth to his heart as soon as he said "I do" and probably well before that. The binding of marriage to his ego was then reinforced by society's notions of commitment, love, fatherhood, and responsibility of being the head of the household.
A man who has been divorced finds himself adrift without knowing his place or worth Divorced men issues he gained so much of his sense of self from his partner and had not developed a true understanding of his real self.
When you feel the pang of loss and grief, this is your ego raging against the situation. This is what causes the anger, the depression, the anxiety and desperation. With this information, we can begin understand a man's emotional turmoil after divorce.
We can also see why certain patterns of behavior appear and what they really mean.
Long have women been amazed at the behavior of some divorced men, where they fling themself into extreme situations that end up being quite self-destructive. Some men turn to work and throw themselves into it with ferocity, some men choose alcohol as a salve, some choose harder drugs, and other still turn to dating well before they are ready. All of these things and more are linked to a single thing -- an ego that is hurting and the desperate need to boost their self esteem "Divorced men issues" feel valued, or feel pleasure in other ways.
This is a terrible trap for the unwary as any activity that raises your self esteem temporarily is followed by a crash when you come back to earth and you still have a shattered ego.
Bedding a new woman might feel good for the night and makes you feel wanted, but it doesn't last. Going clubbing makes you feel young, fun, and in control of your life, until the next morning when you do not. The worst offenders continue trying to get these quick self esteem boosts over and like a drug as they fear the comedown worst of all -- but none can escape the inevitability of hitting the bottom of the barrel.
Men recovering from divorce need to put aside the quest to make themselves feel better through short-term self esteem boosting activities, and focus instead on building their self respect. Recovery from divorce for men is about moving through the phases of grief and Divorced men issues out the end with a new outlook and a new life, not fighting to put your old life back together as your ego wants it.
Kyle Morrison is a happily divorced man with two amazing sons, possibly the laziest cat on earth, and an ex-wife who he has learned to forgive, and co-parent with despite the messy break up. He works as a consultant in higher education and has a burning passion for learning, men's rights, and mental health. Kyle runs the website Men After Divorce and you can find more articles there on the blog. News Politics Entertainment Communities. Opinion HuffPost Personal Videos.
Tattoo Artists Divorced men issues In. A weekly guide to improving all of the relationships in your life.
Divorced men issues a divorced man means newly vacated slots. disaster, tragedy, neglect, nasty custody battles, nastier money issues, and irreconcilable differences. Responding to women who read, Men's Challenges with Separation and Divorceand expressed experiencing bewilderment dating recently.
can't meet women's reserve price. For contrary to common assumptions, older divorced women are on average more financially secure than older divorced men .
Popular questions from our blog readers:
- How do I put an end to this frustration?
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- Had drinks w/childhood friend....interest???
What Men Need To Know BEFORE Divorcing
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- Statistically for men, second marriages fail at a much higher rate than first marriages.
- In most instances, these relationships were never explicitly established or mutually ended, but unilaterally effected by the men detaching and cutting these women out of their lives.
- If you're dating a divorced man, here are some tips from relationship experts on and great you are with kids, but this is a very sensitive issue. Why do men especially seem to struggle with divorce? divorce, and are more prone to alcoholism, weight gain and mental health issues.
- The Challenges with Dating Recently Divorced Men - Larry O'Connor, MFT
- However, I have also found myself listening to men's stories of divorce as well as women's. I used to think that men came out better from it than women; that they. Women initiate more divorces than men and women may suffer less post- breakup. The negative Journal of Family Issues 30(10): Davidson, L.
- can't meet women's reserve price. For contrary to common assumptions, older divorced women are on average more financially secure than older divorced men . Men may have problems with sex after a divorce. They may not talk about it, nor do their partners. Why this is so is somewhat of a mystery because there seem to .
Who is it that is confusing in the relaionship?Dating a divorced man means newly vacated slots. disaster, tragedy, neglect, nasty custody battles, nastier money issues, and irreconcilable differences. Men may have problems with sex after a divorce. They may not talk about it, nor do their partners. Why this is so is somewhat of a mystery because there seem to ..
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