Can you identify with the below scenario? Husband really wants sex. Wife realizes this, and either responds to his initiation or initiates on her own.
The sexual experience is actually quite good for both of them. We just had sex and now you want more! Certainly some of the variables may look slightly different, but you get the gist of the scenario, right? "How to communicate sexually in marriage" reason I share this is because I occasionally hear from husbands who are completely dumbfounded that a wife would react this way.
If ever there was a moment when miscommunication takes a toll on intimacy, it is in situations exactly like this. Sadly, this scenario is common in some marriages, maybe even your own. The encounter repeats itself over and over, causing distance and resentment rather than connection and endearment.
Here are some ideas: Ahhh, easier said than done. But it can be incredibly helpful if you both can talk about sex and what sex means in your marriage. I just wanted you to know that. And if you are feeling overwhelmed about how often he wants sex or if frequency is a common battle, then be honest and maturely address it, with the goal of solution and connection not selfish agendas.
I want us to find a frequency level that we both enjoy. Can we talk about that? If you as a wife are annoyed that your husband wants you sexually and is particularly drawn to you after having bonded with you sexually, have you humbly tried to see the best in his intentions? So, here he is… wanting you only … and you are annoyed by that? Do you see the irony? Start thinking the best about his intentions, because if his intention is exclusive and God-honoring sex with the woman he married, he sounds like a keeper.
Start being more physically affectionate on a consistent basis with your clothes on. Miscommunication often happens because in How to communicate sexually in marriage marriages, physical affection with clothes on happens only in close proximity to when sex last happened or when a husband wants it to happen.
As a couple, if you both become more physically affectionate within the course of your daily life, you likely will have an easier time recognizing and receiving sexual affection. Genuine and intentional physical affection — everything from hand holding to a kiss to a shoulder rub to a playful embrace — can provide great reassurance and affirmation to the marriage.
Physical affection that is not solely sexual in nature is good for you individually and for you as a couple. And honestly, a positive difference it makes in your bed.
If there is sexual miscommunication happening in your marriage, are there steps you can take today to bring about a positive change? Enter your first name and email, then click the button below to get instant access to our most popular guide - plus additional private tips to improve the intimacy in your marriage:.
Please only click the button once it may take up to a minute to process. Yes, physical affection is good for the spouses during the day. If physical affection is only shared during sex, the couple is missing out on a simple and easy way to make their marriage more joyful and maintain a closeness with each other. Spouses really ought to get over using sex as a weapon by withholding it. That surely harms their marriage bond. Great point you raise, Julie, about the different levels of desire.
Spouses ought to talk honestly about that to find a win-win compromise. The level of desire can change over time. A wife who presently does not have as much desire as her husband, may later find her How to communicate sexually in marriage has grown — it is not necessarily a static thing.
And, in some marriages, it is the wife who has the higher drive. It is not that uncommon these days for a wife to please her husband, when he desires sex and she is not up to it or not interested at that time, by giving him oral sex in a loving way there is a shared intimacy.
My husband and I are always sexually affectionate outside of the bedroom. We are always touching and verbalizing our affection and love for one another. It is SO important in keeping that fire and connection alive.
Being playful makes our intimacy in the bedroom that much more intense.
I was married to an abusive man for twenty years and I can totally relate to the feelings described above when he would come up behind me. Ladies, stop refusing and start loving. If you truly are in a healthy, loving marriage, being sexual with your husband should be a very important part of your relationship. We women are made just as sexual as our husbands and there is nothing wrong with letting our sexual side come out and play!
If something our spouse is doing is irritating or angering us, we need to figure out why and communicate it. For example, I have learned to remind my husband that I need non-sexual touching we call it NST sometimes. When I mention what I need, he is happy to provide it. Consistency of affection, not just after-the-act-affection, made all else fall into place.
Plus, adding affectionate words is the cherry on top! Love this encouragement toward transparency. LOVE that kind of affection from the heart, and without any agenda s! So my husband knows that I love, love, love him to touch me…hand holding, his hand on my thigh while we sit side by side, his arm around my shoulders and lots of hugs! And he pays attention to always compliment me, tell me how beautiful I am and thank me for making his lunch every day.
It keeps that connection and just lets each other know you love and desire them, in and out of the bedroom. And honestly, I often hope there is a little more to the hug since we are limited on how often we can be intimate due to his work hours. I have trouble understanding this. Why is it bad, irritating, and interruption if he gives his wife a hug in the kitchen?
As long as both of them take care of their duties- making a living, taking care of kids, maintenance of the living spaces, etc. A person like this wife deserves to be single, the way she more or less prefers to live. It is not on our list of to dos. We just do it because you all need it. We enjoy the cuddling, touching, hugging, and kissing. Also, when a woman is already tired and standing at
How to communicate sexually in marriage sink or stove, in the kitchen preparing a meal, she is more than likely, cussing you under her breath, mad because you are feeling frisky and she is worn out and frustrated.
Hey men, try changing a tire and changing the oil in the car, and your wife comes up to you wanting to talk and be chatty as we so often do. Men, you know how angry you all would get, especially with all that angry testosterone.
Your wife is human. God has directed husbands to live wih their wives with understanding. Stop scolding and lecturing wives. I look forward to a man writing an article to men and scolding them.
Because it seems that everytime you look around there is another woman who has decided to start a blog to scold and belittle wives through these long drawn out articles that go on and on and on. It is so sad. The men are laughing at us women for being so stupid and allowing ourselves to be brainwashed.
You see men support each other no matter what. They never write blogs to scold other men. Women are catty and cruel to each other and it is proven in these anti blogs. "How to communicate sexually in marriage" am apalled that there are wives who feel this way.
I would love it if my husband and I had more mutually satisfying sex! Would love to pause the day and just bask in our sexuality. Get over yourself and rebuke the lies of the enemy. Realize how blessed you really are! I think you missed the intent of my blog and the general tone of my site overall. And I apologize if I have misinterpreted what you wrote. But I do disagree with a few things you wrote. God did design sex within marriage and when two people are in a healthy relationship it can be a beautiful, connecting element that further strengthens the bond they have.
I lived for 20 years of my life with a man that I did come to hate How to communicate sexually in marriage resent for the abusive treatment he gave not only me but our two sons. It was nothing more for his benefit, done on his terms with no thought whatsoever for my pleasure.
Did I curse him under my breath?
How to communicate sexually in marriage Was I mad at him? Did I try to communicate with him? Yes, but it was fruitless as he was always right and I was always wrong. But I see now that not all men are like that. He does not get angry for me if I come out to chat with him while he works on the car, he actually loves it!
And I do not curse him under my breath nor am silently mad at him when he comes up to me in the kitchen and puts his arms around me.
I embrace him back and delight in his love and desire for me. For us women it is common to hold things in and not ask for help. What I'm saying is that you married your husband under the pretense
How to communicate sexually in marriage biblical and otherwise — that he would have sexual feelings and. 19 QUESTIONS TO AMAZING SEX WITH YOUR SPOUSE Before you ever got married you and your spouse have long thought about sex.
The quest for sexual fulfillment in a relationship begins by learning to Learn how to share and communicate your sexual desires in an effective way. of these things before we get married or enter into a relationship.