The title of a great and popular old Off-Broadway play captures one of the most common sentiments I've seen when working with distressed couples: If you have discovered that for some reason you and your partner are no When a man changes in a relationship growing together as a couple, it might be useful to look at why you actually got together in the first place, and how the things that originally attracted you to each other may look different once that initial attraction is gone.
For example, if initially you loved that your partner had a great sense of humorafter some time you may see this same trait as obnoxious.
If you were once attracted by the fact that your When a man changes in a relationship was " a lot of fun ", you may now believe that he or she cannot be serious.
Take a look at this chart to see what may have changed in how you perceive your partner:. In other words, you may now be turned off by another perception the same traits you once found to be irresistible! When I ask people to share with me their first impressions of the partner with whom they are splitting up or having difficulties now, I often get a the "good" version of how the bad relationship is today:.
So I left him to hook up with my yoga instructor -- someone who personified the exact opposite. But he turned out to be so laid back and unambitious that I totally lost respect for him. Then I met my present wife. She was extremely accomplished professionally. Her independence really turned me on.
But she has now become so distant, aloof and absorbed in her work that I feel totally insignificant to her. The funny thing is she really didn't change, only my perception of her did. When that delicious initial attraction is present, the glass is half full. But when it leaves, that same "glass" is often experienced as half empty.
How to Know Whether to Stay or Go regarding how your relationship may have evolved over time. If things have changed, was that change predictable given a second look at those traits that initially attracted you? Is it possible that things were always this way, but you didn't notice when looking through those rose-colored initial attraction "glasses" that are normally powered by a "Dopamine high"?
Did you ignore the proclamations, warnings and clues? Your partner tells you she doesn't want children, or he shares has a hard time being monogamous. Did you fall for Mr. In other words, were you very needy at the time when you hooked up? Or perhaps in a rebound relationship where, in hindsight, you now recognize that your then new partner represented little more than a strong dose of "anesthesia" for the pain of a relationship you were ending?
Is it possible that you were never really attracted to your partner, but wanted the relationship for reasons other than attraction or liked him or her so much that you were willing to overlook the attraction factor then and now find it unacceptable that there is little or no sexual Did you marry or commit to a When a man changes in a relationship relationship because of who your partner is this doesn't change very muchor because of what he or she can do for you this does tend to change?
Are there other factors that not only got you together, but also kept you together to this point that you may not be acknowledging? Could a major part of the problem be perfectionism? One man recently shared with me his wife's comments after she refused to go into counseling with him: After you have reflected on these questions, and maybe added some of your own, you may want to go through them again -- only this time as your partner, and take a look at them as they apply to you.
As you engage in this exercise, use the insights and reflections from these questions as a starting point or to add to your awareness and understanding of where your relationship is now vs. News Politics Entertainment Communities. Opinion HuffPost Personal Videos. Take a look at this chart to see what may have changed in how you perceive your partner: When I ask people to share with me their first impressions of the partner with whom they are splitting up or having difficulties now, I often get a the "good" version of how the bad relationship is today: Tattoo Artists Weigh In.
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When a man changes in a relationship, here's what you need Unhealthy relationships might make you a worse person.
Every relationship will go through several stages. The first of these is a Why Does a Woman Want to Change a Man's Nature? Initially, the. When One Person Changes in a Relationship.
By Irving Schattner, LCSW ~ 3 min read. We seek relationships for a variety of purposes.