How your mind is sabotaging your relationships and how to overcome it
Self-sabotage is a funny thing. The whole kit is going great, and WHAM. I used to have a huge tendency toward majorly fucking up relationships right around the month mark.
It would usually be right after things were going really, really well. I would start being a start.
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I used to be repelled by nice men, those who wanted to honor me and adore me. I always chalked it up to an absence of chemistry.
When I finally followed the trail of relationship crumbs to find out why my love life had been so filled with frustration, I felt embarrassed that I had allowed myself to be treated this way.
I had to get curious, and tap into my courage, in order to step outside of myself. I had to dig deep to see why I had always been drawn to unavailable men and see and accept that it was, really uncomfortably, all about ME. A few years into bad-boy recovery, I now have nothing but gratitude for this period in my life.
These men taught me of my deeper fears of love and insecurities about my worthiness.
When it came to conjuring up scenarios of loss and depress, I was like a tatter doll in the hands of my imagination. Even if my partner did not leave me or intend to cheat on me, the fear of being abandoned turned me into a person the man I was with no longer recognized.
My fear, hiding in the closet like an imaginary monster, made me extremely jealous, paranoid, manipulative, and controlling. It was limiting my experience of life and preventing me from truly rift my heart to my cohort.
He would energetically feel that pressure and withdraw, which suddenly would trigger my fear of abandonment even more. It was a vicious cycle that I could not end. I had underestimated the magnetic energy of my fear. I was a walking self-fulfilling prophecy. Maybe it was just dumb luck that I attracted men who would help me work through my biggest fear. Or we can call it perfect divine timing and order.
I personally elect the latter. The men I attracted were intelligent, creative, masterful, fun, and sexy.
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Now look for other constants and pull from your family history to make connections. Let things be good in your relationship. Email Created with Sketch.
Now take things day by day. I always chalked it up to an absence of chemistry. Did you enjoy this post? It has made a whole world of difference for me, and it could for you as well.
Popular questions from our blog readers:
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How to Stop Self-Sabotage In Your Relationship
How important is it your partner be ambitious?As a long time commitment-phobe, my love life has been 'inconsistent', to say the least, but this year it seemed that I'd finally met someone I. Here are 10 common destructive behavior patterns, and 7 tips on How to Stop Self Sabotage in Relationships..