Roommate is cheating with a married man; none of my business? Last Jump to page: My roommate and I have been getting along really well for the last year. We were friends before moving in together and basically get along great.
She's an MFA student and I work for a nonprofit so joint living is to our benefit rents in Portland are fairly high at the moment. She identifies as poly and sees one guy regularly and other men from time to time; maybe once a month or so.
The only guy that comes around the place sometimes is someone she's been seeing for the past two years. Right after we move in together within the first monthI found out that the man in question was married. I was immediately uncomfortable with this, but she had stated that this guy and his wife were "also poly" and had a long laundry list of reasons why she felt seeing him was OK I don't really know if this is true or not, I do know that she makes a nice six figure salary, the guy works part-time and his wife bought him a bright yellow convertible as a birthday present last year.
I asked my roommate if his wife knew that this dude was seeing her and she said that "if she wanted to know, she would know by now". So I left it at that. Fast forward to a week or so ago, when my roommate comes home clearly upset. I was nice and comforting, but told my roommate that maybe it was for the best and hopefully the two of them could remain friends. Basically I am now very uncomfortable about this, don't know if I should talk to my roommate or not or how I should go about doing so.
She has said several times that she thinks that I am the best roommate that she has ever had and that she would like to keep me around. I am content staying where I am, the rent is a very good deal for Portland right now.
I also kindof feel like at this point his wife I know who she is on FB should know what is going on, but I also feel like that it would likely be WAY overstepping my bounds to say anything to her. I am not poly and I feel like I am pretty open-minded regards to other people's relationships, however I have a very "My roommate is hookup a married man" time with cheating as I feel that it is hurtful to go behind someone's back in a relationship and have never had the inclination to do so personally.
Anyway, just wondering if anyone had any advice as to whether I should talk to my roommate and how I should go about doing so, or am I making a big deal out of nothing.
Last edited by Celista; at I have stalked but for a minute Of your posting history, yet I know those subreddits and that karma: Art thou not Romeo and a RedPiller? Originally Posted by Celista. I was nice and comforting, but told her that maybe it was for the best and hopefully the two of them could remain friends. You're not to think you are anything special. You're not to think you are as good as we are. You're not to think you are smarter than we are.
You're not to convince yourself that you are better than we are. You're not to think you know more than we do. You're not to think you are more important than we are. You're not to think you are good at anything. You're not to laugh at us. You're not to think anyone cares about you. You're not to think you can teach us anything. Its none of your business, and if you don't want to move, don't move. Renew the lease with a new room mate. Originally Posted by Djalil.
Last edited by Spectral; at Record their sessions, extort both of them. We are cows - proud and true.
Come on Tauren - Moo Moo Moo! Originally Posted by GrinningMan. You're gonna have a hard time making rent when your room mate ends up floating down the river because she was being pounded by a crazy woman's hubby. It's okay to be against whatever someone else is doing and having an opinion about it, though. So judge the "slutty"- erm None of your business though, save yourself real trouble and focus on your life.
Save it for when you get into a fight and are yelling at each other. Well you were screwing that married guy. You know what they call that? Don't
My roommate is hookup a married man other people's business.
These things can be very complex sometimes, and sometimes the only thing that ruins it, causes it to turn into drama is the word of an outsider that doesn't understand what is going on. Manufacturing a "Crazy Left" is the main modern campaign strategy of right wing interest groups.
Question everything see. I can afford rent on my own although I'm trying to save as much money by having a roommatebut yeah. I'm definitely worried about the potential of some sort of dramatic situation. Originally Posted by Spectral. Yeah, so do a lot of trendy, high-social status people that want an identification other than just plain ol' promiscuity. She's not a slut, she's just poly! It's an orientation, so you can't judge that!
Anyway, I think your instincts that this guy is just cheating are correct. I think your not-quite articulated instinct that your roommate is doing something immoral is correct. In my general view, this wouldn't be sufficiently immoral to no consider this person a friend, but it probably would be enough that I would be disinclined to live with her.
Having a parade of new sexual partners that have questionable ethics and a high possibility of conflict isn't how I want to live my life. Its none of your business. I mean you can tell your roommate you disaporve, but what can ya do? Well, it's going to be dramatic, you just "My roommate is hookup a married man" to choose the lesser of evils here. First thing is first, look out for -you. Not your room mate, because honestly she wouldn't put you through this garbage if she gave two shits about you.
Anything outside of your "roommate" relationship is none of your business, frankly. Also, he is cheating. Should have made a My roommate is hookup a married man, but yeah none of your business. Unless, of course, it starts to seriously effect the living arrangement. I'm not sure how to make a post that would not be incredibly insulting to your roommate and the person she is seeing.
I'll defer to derpkitteh 's opinion on cheaters. If it was me? I would get out of there asap and find some way to let the wife know. I know I would want to know if my significant other was cheating on me. Sure, its none of your business but neither are a lot of things we involve ourselves in. It's none of my business if someone needs blood but it doesn't stop me from donating. Yeah that may be a good point Thanks for your input. DO you know the married man and his wife?
Are they your friends or stranger? If stranger then don't interfere or you will be hated and blame by both side. Well, at this point the "My roommate is hookup a married man" could do something like follow him to where he is going and vandalize where you live.
But that's about the only reason I can think of to actually involve yourself. Beyond that, it really isn't something you should get involved in. All times are GMT. The time now is My roommate and I have been getting along really well for the last year. We were friends before moving in together and basically get along.
I asked a few experts to weigh in on whether or not men and women can live together platonically. The verdict? You can live with someone of. When I ended my own marriage of 26 years it was because I could no until that point to address the lack of intimacy and connection –because if you do, In this case it is incumbent upon the woman to let her man know how.