Whenever I come across such profiles, I always shake my head and think to myself: Why would you write that? Not because I believe that dating sites are only useful to facilitate quick sex and no-strings-attached physical Worst things to say on a hookup profile. This is exactly the kind of thing that scares great guys away.
This might seem counter-intuitive, so at the risk of seeming unclear, here are the three major reasons why women should avoid writing this on their profile:. The only REAL effective filter is judging guys based on their actions and looking for little signs in actual conversation. Whenever I see the phrase: And nothing is more unattractive to a guy than a woman who still lives with previous emotional baggage. Good guys resent being treated like bad ones.
No guy likes being the object of suspicion and doubt. Stephen Hussey helped co-write the Get The Guy book and is a wealth of knowledge on dating and relationships. Your email address will not be published. Notify me of follow-up comments via e-mail. This article is eye opening. It is one of the best advice articles, I have read to date. Dating nowadays is exhausting.
I too, have been frustrated by online dating. Had been posting off putting declarations. Every thing you wrote, is accurate. So after reading your column, I made changes to my profile. We all want to protect our feelings.
To ensure we do not suffer any undo dating stresses. But it is never that easy, by posting negative statements. Best to screen person by his words and actions, over time. Nice article and idea on hooking up. Almost guys send messages to you as your good-looking face and sexy body.
Reading the comments here is so frustrating for me, it must be even worse for you, Stephen! This is speaking from experience, I met over men from dating sites over the course of a year!
I suspected it was non-productive for the exact reasons you list. I have coached my friends both men and women in writing their profiles and one of the first things I suggest is to keep it positive. This is simply based on my own personal experience. As soon as I read what a man does not want or any kind of negativity, I am no longer interested in him. Do not put up restrictions. People should already respect normal boundaries.
Why in the world that many?! And mystery is intriguing. Whether you have no intention of actually hooking up is beside the point. Partly because we live in this weird culture. But mainly, u need to stay out of gutters in life. I have a mix of things on my profile and have been contacted by many men. I have all the time in the world. I know my value. Because any man that respects my worth is going to get his brains respected outta his head for the rest of his days.
There is no greater aphrodisiac. A man who knows what he wants gets the job, gets the girl and gets the life. I will echo the same sentiments as others. I just dated someone I met online for the past month or so. My profile is positive. I required all of the things you mention — proper dates, an interest in me, what I like to do, proper communication i. I ended Worst things to say on a hookup profile immediately even though he denies seeing her.
You can know that a lot of men want sex and then run. That is why women used to, for most part, not sleep with men before marriage. That has destroyed our society, easy sex for men. So, how can I better communicate what I want to people?
Try just Worst things to say on a hookup profile those words. I think your deliberate ambiguity probably causes more problems than u realize. U do not want to say no. Attraction is really nothing.
U have to be about more than attraction. I agree with everything you said. But I will also add…its rough being a woman.
There are all sorts of tricks men use to get what they want — which is usually just sex. Men will go out of their way to pretend they are nice guys, or relationship guys or whatever necessary to gain your trust.
After they get what they want and they disappear. So I can understand why a lot of women start feeling suspicious every time any guy takes an interest in her. I have to take long breaks away from dating just to do other stuff for a while that is fun to me. And a guy not knowing what he wants? I actually agree about it sounding bit aggressive and negative and I think now if a person is smart enough I am definitely after the smart one hahe would be able to get right from the beginning of the conversation what my intentions are.
Usually I know very good place for them to go if they continue trying their luck: I agree this gets frustrating sometimes, but it certainly not boring. I signed out of dating websites because of this kind of propositions. Lots of crazy people out there. I know I will meet the One but for now I preserve my sanity from all this stupidity. So good for them. But it leaves us with a Worst things to say on a hookup profile of sorting to that only makes us more tired.
I believe I will meet him. And I feel peaceful, "Worst things to say on a hookup profile" about men, and free. I normally really love your article, and I understand your point here, but I cannot help feeling a little hurt right now.
This kinda argument is not fair. I am not saying that carrying baggage is attractive because it is not, but you can hardly blame us for it. Lots of men carry emotional baggage too, as they were hurt by women, too.
That does not make them bad people.
I think a lot of online stuff is just about sex. Not worth it to me to deal with what i see as offensive and a kind of emotional assault.
Sad world these days. I read this stuff for my real life interactions. I am not on any kind of dating platform I stopped wasting my time but my experience was that men do not care what you write.
They will just assume you are trying to hard to get in a way. Well this is my "Worst things to say on a hookup profile." Does he follow up by wanting to schedule a proper date? Does he take an interest in the things you write about yourself? Does he pay attention to what you say? And u might as well take a number, because he thinks he is at the deli. Oh wait I forgot, the sexual revolution and our own willingness to participate has literally and figuratively screwed us.
In my experience, the free dating sites typically have less desirable men to date. I agree with Judi-paid dating sites tend to have more quality options looking for LTR. I highly recommend it: I would go for a middle ground. Say the kind of thing you DO want, e. Here are 30 worst mistakes you're including on your profile that aren't doing you. What you're trying to say is that your profile is so enticing—and you're so inundated with suitors—that you can.
“Recently a guy/girl said/did this to me ”. I suspect in some ways, just writing “No hookups!” on a profile is an attempt at a shortcut. It's wanting to screen out the worst guys without doing the actual work of. With a better idea of what makes people say "HECK YES" to someone on a dating Actually, to come to think of it, the worst offenders on this list should profile gives the impression that you're looking for either a hookup.